Hey!

I've been feeling really great about this trip. Danny's been awesome, cracking jokes the whole time we've been on the road. It's just been two days, but I'm already feeling like the mess back home is distant now. When we go back, it may be waiting for us, but maybe this trip will allow me to pretend it was all just a dream... for a little while, at least. :D

Though, I'm acting as if it was all perfect and dandy. The weather had us a bit worried a few times, and we veered to the left a bit from Chicago. Currently, we're in a quaint little place called Huntley. We're pretty sure it's about an hour away from our destination, so we will be heading out in the morning. Good thing we have internet here! Diane keeps texting me about the mess we left her with... or rather, the mess Danny left her with. She's so anal about all that... haha

This afternoon, when Danny was getting us a room, I took a trip down to the local coffee shop. I was a bit worried as we had slept in the car Saturday and Sunday. I felt like, being in this random place, that we'd be more exposed... I suppose that was silly thinking. I wanted to grab a coffee and take my mind off it, you know?

Anyway, in there, I saw this girl who was sitting alone. She looked really tired, and stared out the window as if watching some invisible plane fly across the sky...

Don't think I'm weird for doing this, but I sat next to her. The girl looked about sixteen and here I am, 21 years old, sitting beside her. I don't know exactly why I did, something just compelled me!

She was confused at first, but I introduced myself and told her I was just passing through the area. She mumbled her name, Julia, and told me that she never really met someone passing through Huntley. The conversation was surprisingly easy, she was a nice girl to talk to. She said she was seventeen, and recently started doing rather well in school. She tried getting into sports like her friend, and started feeling more confident about herself. She went on a lot about how grades had been so hard for her before, and now suddenly everything started feeling better. I agreed with her, confidence is key.

However, Julia suddenly changed topics on me. Started talking about dreams and how she felt as if they were always trying to tell her something. For example, she had many where her inability to act lead to something dangerous happening. She compared this to her lack of confidence before. Recently though, her dreams contained murder. She had never actually seen anything like that beyond a movie, and to have it right in front of her in a dream freaked her out.

I wasn't sure what to say. I don't like my own dreams very much either (But! I haven't had the crystal forest one in like a week! :D ).

Instead of telling her the terribly old "It's just a dream!", I told her that she was growing up, changing. No one likes change, change is SCARY. Get enough change and your dreams might just tell you to back out of this new scary stuff sitting right in front of you. Yeah, pretty wishy-washy advice, but I tried.

I don't think Julia really believed me, but she smiled anyway. She told me that she was glad someone talked to her today. Her close friends were AWOL on her and she was feeling a bit lonely. Yay for not coming off as a creepy molester!

Buuut seriously, talking to that girl made me feel better too. She talked so passionately about her rising confidence... I realized that's been something I've been missing lately. Danny too. CONFIDENCE.

We all need CONFIDENCE.
Cooonfidence. xD

I'm not worried about sleeping here now. If anything does happen? Danny and I can take it. We've been friends for a long time, we are a damn good team.

Feeling Better

Danny and I will be leaving tomorrow.

I've been feeling a bit better and I'm sort of getting excited for this trip. I'll get some quality time with my best friend, I'll get to meet my great online friend, and eventually I'll be seeing my parents again.

This time it will be on much happier terms.


Anyways, Shiloh, we REALLY need to talk to you about the trip. Sign into AIM or drop Danny/Me an e-mail.

Dreams and My Current Condition

I'm anemic.

Just...It just happened for no reason. Things would have been really comfortable if not for that. I'm trying to get better, I do everything the doctors say, but nothing seems to change. Not ever. I'm curious as to if it has to do with the tall guy or not.
By the way, still no trace of the dude.

Oh and Danny and Shannon, you two should...probably get going, if you know what I mean.
Maybe...it's safe here?
I'm worried for you two. It's hard to put the feeling into words.

Anyway...The other day I had a rather disheartening dream. I'm standing in the forest, in front of a dead body. She's hanging from a tree, short hair, long face, doesn't look much older than me. No blood, no wounds, just a plain body with a rope around it's neck. I reach into the pockets of her coat and pull out a note, a pen, a bracelet, and a bottle of pills. I stuffed everything into my jacket other than the bottle. Without thinking, I swallow everything inside the bottle all at once. Something tells me I was trying to overdose or something. I wandered through the woods and it got darker and darker. Blood started trickeling out of my nose, my eyes, my ears, my mouth. Then everything goes black as my head feels as though it bursts into flames.

Yesterday, I rummaged through my coat again.
I found a bracelet and a pen.

This happened.

Are the pills what brought me back?

Maybe this is all just a red herring.

The tall guy maintains his radio silence, and I'll just keep laying here in my bed, anemic.

I can hardly type, I feel so fraile.

Just Ten Minutes

Danny is mostly correct. I had panicked when the banging started, and was too scared to go outside and investigate.

These callers have had my nerves shot for months now. I can't help but think this has been their plan from the very beginning. Daniel stopped going to work last week and he's told me not to answer any of their calls. He seems to think that maybe the memory loss thing will work in his favor there... or something. I don't know, he hasn't been the same since this started. Neither have I, or even Diane.

... I was almost kidnapped, or murdered, or... whatever. Oh my fuck, I can still barely believe it.

That fucker wouldn't stop knocking! Why did he not just go away?! He fucked up EVERYTHING.

As soon as I saw the door opening, I slammed my weight against it. There was no fucking way I was going to let him. Evidently, he was no weakling though, and he eventually forced his way inside. It's really hazy here... He had a big sweater on, but the hood was down. He had these strikingly... I hate to say it but, his eyes were just mesmerizing. They were a bright shiny blue, and they just...

I don't know why I focused on that. We stared at each other for a moment before he pounced. I tried to slip away but he had been able to get a hold of my ankle. I tripped and slammed my head against the couch. (We have the living room just outside the door, and then there's the main hall where... Mmkay, I guess that's not important at all...) He started to crawl on top of me, to pin me, I assume. I began to kick wildly, probably hitting him in the face a few times. He made these large grunting noises, like he was struggling. Either I'm stronger than I realize or he had some sort of condition... Considering what exactly I've seen, I'm thinking the latter.

My kicking allowed me to get away from him for a moment. I rushed to our little kitchen and grabbed the large chef knife Diane bought in the summer. When I turned back, the guy was stopped in the doorway. He had such a look of anguish on his face, I thought he had seen the knife and was about to run away. I thought it was odd the guy had come to attack me and apparently didn't have a weapon of his own... But then, I noticed he wasn't looking at me, but above me.

You see, in the kitchen, we have this small little window that rests in between the cabinets. I looked up, and well...

How does one describe the first time they see a monster from their nightmares in the flesh?

A face filled the kitchen window. Except, there was nothing there, really. It was a rather blank face. The clothing? I could tell the guy (Quite a skinny guy) was wearing a very prim and proper black suit. He even had a tie. I blinked, and he was gone. Well, not really.

I turned back to my attacker, who had started up his loud grunting again. That grunting was quickly becoming the most annoying sound in the world. Aside from the knocking, of course.

He took one step toward me before his nose exploded. Not literally, but blood just started pouring out of his nose like... like a fountain. It was disgusting, just sickening. I was about ready to puke when, well, the faceless guy appeared again. The tall man. Skinny skinny skinny guy. The Slender Man.

I'm about ready to pass out, but I need to finish writing this post first.

My attacker was having the worst nose bleed of all time, and when you-know-who appeared, he started screaming.

I started screaming too, I think.

I wanted this guy out of my apartment. I wanted the fucking nightmare out of my apartment. The closest one was the faceless monster. I took a couple of steps across the kitchen, took a deep breath, and planted my chef's knife right into his skinny back.

If you want to know what exactly happened after that, your guess is as good as mine. I am pretty sure I felt some sort of pain, and things got really dizzy... But honestly, I think I went completely blind. I don't remember what I was seeing, but there was definitely screaming. More than just my own and my attacker's, I think. There might have been laughter? Something like that...

It was just painful, really.

Next thing that I know, I'm laying on my back, with that attacker with his mesmerizing eyes staring down at me. I had a hold on his arm, the one holding the needle. The guy, he looked spooked. I'm sure I did too.

Danny walked in, the attacker forgot all about me and plowed his way outside. It was... a long time before I was able to get up.

I couldn't tell Danny that I had seen... you-know-who. I decided I would until the police were gone, until everything had calmed down before I would write this post. I do feel a bit better after writing it, but damn, I'm just exhausted.

I'm also more scared than ever.

Sweet dreams.

It's late, but...

... I wanted to make aware that on the news today, a couple of kids were reported missing after disappearing from their homes overnight. Two girls. They were about 8-9 years old and were apparently best friends.

This kind of thing is devastating. I can't even fathom how cold one would have to be to take a child away from their family. It's always a selfish reason, whether it be perverted or malicious.

It's stuff like this that truly make me wonder if the monsters we create in our imaginative minds are really worse than our fellow man.

Man can be so cruel.

Second Set of Notes: Codes

I'm working on getting in contact with Jake Owen. I am going to attempt to help him and his cousin.
Jake if you're reading this, just reply to my email, okay?

Anyway, I looked over my notes and meditated a bit(not literally, I can't sit still for ten seconds) on the two weeks, and came up with a good topic I think would be interesting to talk about. A lot of the time when the tall guy hollows someone out or something, they'll tend to speak in code. Very cryptic. M made a great post about this too, but as a former hollowed, I'd like to put my two cents in from the other side of the spectrum. I actually like to think the tall guy himself enjoys being this way with the codes as another form of spreading fear and paranoia, but that's just conjecture of my mind. Now there's three types of codes the hollowed people seem to use, and boil down to three phrases.

It's/I am/we are coming for you.
Run.
Help me.

Looking over some of the comments I've left on the other blogs of people involved with the tall guy, you might find I was doing this too. I'm too lazy to look it up exactly but I was saying something along the lines of:
;;j;k;hk;;yk;elp;;fg;kf;me;;k
And it you cut out some of the letters you get, yes, "help me" actually I think I just wrote "elp me", I'm not sure, but I guess that was the implication.
Again, I was pretty much insane during this time, so I really haven't a clue WHY I did this when in all other instances I was completely under his control. What I've began to assume is that when a hollowed person sends a code for help or to help someone else, it's the smallest vestiges of your humanity leaking through, and...the hollow part is trying to cover it up? Not sure. Not being able to ever have an absolute kind of sucks, doesn't it?
Another thing I don't understand is coding some hidden threat into a message, why don't you just tell me outright that I need to "be alone" mr hollowed?

There was another girl with me at one point, not for very long. The other puppets, they came and went, rarely interacting with another puppet. We weren't some sort of society, hanging out underground eating dinner together, but occasionally the tall guy would have us interact or cross paths. This happened multiple times during my two week's stay. Anyway, she had scars all over her arm. They didn't look like scars from cuts, because they were round like burns, it was as though she had a large round pole stabbed through her skin all over. I couldn't see her face because of her hood, and her long hair covered most of her features like a mask. She wore casual clothing like me. In retrospect, we probably looked really silly in our jeans and hoodies serving the tall guy. ...Just like a bunch of Daddy's little kids. Makes me sick.
The girl had a metal stake in her hand and was carving something into a tree in the middle of the forest where I was currently "hanging out"(awaiting orders, I suppose). When she was finished, she ran off as though she were running for her life, the sound of crunching leaves got farther and farther away from me until I could hear it no longer. At that point, I peered at what she had carved, at the time I had no reason to have any opinion whatsoever, but I remember exactly what it looked like:

I WILL DEAFEN YOU INSIDE
SCREAM AT THEM
LIKE WORRYSOME CHILDREN LYING
BURY HIM BURY HER
JOHN /
As you can see, some letters were written smaller...If the hollowed part of her was trying to cover up her plea of "Find me, Kill me" why didn't it come up with something more...complex? These are the things that make me curious. I've spent all day today thinking about who this John guy was to her, and what the message itself (disregarding the code) meant, if anything at all.

Shit, I act like I know what I'm talking about, but I really don't have much of a clue do I? At least I have some experience. I guess.

Next post will be a little deeper, a little more first hand. Believe me, after having gone through this, writing this crap isn't too easy.
But some of you, some of you probably get that, don't you?