Jeffrey-------------Smile

Today I had four voice mail messages which were in my inbox after school today...I don't know who's number any of them could possibly be, but again, weirdness has stricken my life.

Chronologically...
First: A bunch of scratching noises around static for roughly thirty seconds. At one point it also sounds like someone is picking up and putting down the phone.
Second: A quiet beeping noise. That's it.
Third: Over five minutes (I stopped listening after that) of nothing but static and wind.
Fourth: Hey, uh, Shiloh, this is Jefferey...Someone called me from your phone and I just wanted to see if everything was alright and if you were okay. Call meif you need anything, alright? Bye.

I don't know anyone named Jeffrey, nor has anyone with that name had my phone number or mine theres.
...I'm hesitant about calling.
I want to just ignore it, weird as it is. Doing nothing can be the best option, yeah?

In addition to this...I recieved an email from some random, and I assume spambot, address. The title was "SMILE!!! GOD LOVES YOU!!!"
I knew it wasn't a good idea to open it, but I have a Mac so I figured I may as well check it out. Weirder things have been happening.

Attached was this image.

What I found

Again, I found this in my container of photo paper and developed it right away.



Looks...Kind of like a pinhole because of how warped and round it looks...

It bugs me...anyone want to tell me what they think?

Edit: There are no cuts on my left arm. Nor do I remember any.
The only record of that is my last blog post.
.  .  .
I'm gonna go lie down.

Alaadin

I woke up today and got ready to go to music lessons.

It's tuesday.

I don't remember anything since going to sleep Friday night. I woke up with cuts all over my left arm and my oft-used camera was completely smashed.

I should've kept up with my journal and things.

I took the roll of film to school today and immediately developed it. All of the negatives were totally foggy (I remembered the lightblocker this time)except for one, a picture of some dirt or something. I went to print it anyway, but when I opened up my container of photopaper, a small slip of it fell out. It looked like the size of the paper we use for the pinhole camera (which I've never used before and have NO CLUE how to do so)

So I developed the print and what I got is...Well, I'll post it later. I don't feel like bothering with my scanner right now. That's not what bothers me though. What bothers me are these cuts.

Have I been hurting myself? That's the only thing that could've happened, I think. All of the cuts are about the different distances apart and are pretty thin slashes across. I've been pretty down lately, but I'm not suicidal.
Did something bad happen this weekend? I don't want to tell my Parents I forgot again...I don't want to tell anyone but you guys. I don't want people worrying about me and submitting me to more stupid tests.

Worst of all, my sweet, dear camera is completely busted.

I just don't know what to do with myself.

Nothing like yesterday

Today was awful.
Nothing bad happened, I just feel awful. I don't know, maybe it's the fact that my only "talent" in this world is viewed as pretencious and just for people who can't do "real" art.

I don't know what else to say. I could rant on but I know you guys don't want to hear that. Update on my health? Sure. I'm totally fine. mostly. No memory gaps, no nothing. The stress is coming back, but I don't think I'm going to regress.

But I've apparently (according to my brother) been sleep talking.

That's annoying.

I feel really sad, but I don't really have anyone irl that can comfort me about it. I have no shoulders to lean on, and it's not like I can just be like this with my parents.

I don't know what to do something.

...Again, should've started with "Dear Livejournal,"

In Love

I'll probably never be just a "normal" type of kid again.

But if things keep up like this, if I can have more days like today, maybe I won't have to.

You don't see with your eyes, You perceive with your mind.

That last post was pretty horrible.

I talked to my lovely shrink again (her name is Doctor Summers and she is way hot xp) and basically what she had to say was my mind is playing awful tricks on me, and I'm not taking my medicine as directed, and I'm under a lot of stress (photography deadlines rrrgh) I told her about this blog and she said that things like this make me feel as though I need something to report, and that it can make you subconciously exaggerate situations or even making you start seeing or feeling things that aren't there.

In my case, it's seeing things.

So...I'm not gonna post for a bit. For the good of my health! When I'm better I'll come and say hi and start posting again.

It's not like Shannon is here anyway.

I'll still be on skype and checking my email, though.

Ciao~

,.,,.///

It's happening again. I keep dreaming, and I keep waking up.

They keep moving.
Someone is here.
Please, please let me be insane...Please don't tell me this stuff is actually happening to me.

Huddled in the corner of my bed, cowering in fear...I can't stop shaking. Eyes fixed firmly on the door...